Happy Thanksgiving...

It's thanksgiving
I wanna smoke
and relax with the family and listen to music

I woke up today and rolled out of bed landing on my feet actually without running into anything (I stuck the landing) and looked out the window to see SNOW!

This is a radical Thanksgiving already.

Chillan to the Dirty Head, I can't seem to get enough of them this week.

It make me want to play my guitar, but I can't : ( gah.

Good day everyone . . . I need to find clothes haha.

This is not the end...

Tell me
Come on tell me what you can
Even as you wait for death you're wiser than I am
Tell me what does it mean to exist
I am not a scientist I must believe in more than this
And I can not accept
That everything is real
Is only what our eyes can see
And our hand can feel

Not even earth can hold us
Not even life controls us
Not even the ground can keep us down
The memories in my head
Are just as real the time we spend
You'll always be close to me
My friend
This is not the end

I see
I can see you're so afriad
You wear it like a silver hood on you even fear looks good
I wish I wish I had some word to give
But all I can think to say
Is I'll be with you everyday

Not even earth can hold us
Not even life controls us
Not even the ground can keep us down
The memories in my head
I just realized the time we spent
You'll always be close to me
My friend
This is not the end

La la la la la
This is not the end
La la la la la
This is not the end

I don't care
I don't care what you believe
As long as you are in my heart
You're just as real as me
Maybe even more
Someone has touched so many lives
Can never never die

-The Bravery

...

I've never felt so empty in my entire life

I'm not me right now

I'm really sorry to all my friends . . .

. . . I can't even talk to you guys about it, but I want to thank you for being there.

I have to heal on my own.

Oh my god

I've never cried so much in my life about someone.

This gut wrenching feeling.

My nerves

My adrenaline

This cool sensation that travels from my neck to my spine . . . never felt before.
I hate it.
I hate this.
I'm so sad
And I feel terrible cause I can't be happy for anything or anyone.
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I fucking hate it.
I'm losing weight and I feel sick.

I feel so freaking sick and pathetic.

My sunshine
and I lost it.

This is so freaking hard for me.
This hurts so much
I've never hurt this much before . . . good god
I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry

I hate myself
I'm so confused
I just want to talk to you...

....................................................................................... :*(

Hmmmmmm . . . hmmm . . . hmmmmm
Let's get happy
It's a new day tomorrow
and I'm thankful to see it.
I see more these days than I have before.
I love it
I hate it
I can't do much, for I need to do more for myself.
Like it
Love it
That's how it's going to be . . . I want to be happy.
And I am
I am content with myself and with everything I do or have ever done.
No regrets.
The choices being made, my own
My will as it is.
I like this boy
and I haven't felt so great, in so long.
Butterflies with wings of steel
fluttering away at my insides.
It's fantastic
Can't help but smile everytime I talk to you.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
I don't have to think about yesterday, or about what tomorrow will bring.
Cause I'm content with right now . . . that's all I need to do to be happy.
That's how one can stay happy.
I don't know what else to say right now . . . that was good enough of a dumbass rant.

I love you guys . . .

Short sweet and to the point . . .
I can't say too much right now lolz
I love you all, and I apologize!
I love you all with my heart and I never ever ment to hurt you guys.
You have no idea what you all mean to me.

to be continued . . .

♥

You . . .

Are the threat
Are the piece of scum under my sneakers
Nothing more but a pebble in the poor girls shoe
We all have nothing but opposition for you . . . loathing.

"Maybe you can appreciate this saw created with your nails, use it to cut off your lips and stuff them in your nostrils, empty my bladder into your dirty mouth. Gargle my fluid. Hum you an old tune while we dismember your legs. Hung upside down by your waist. I blind fold myself with the skin of your thigh, . . . spin 5 times . . . and use your leg to swing at you like a pinata."

Fucktard! :D

I Dispise . . .

. . . Mosquitos! Damn monstrous vermin. I've got bites all over me man = (
Well, anyways, the temperture in my room lastnight (don't mean to sound like such a whiny bitch) was sweltering. Maybe it was just me. Reminds me of a great song though . . . Summertime Clothes by: Animal Collective. I advise you get on it if you are into the strange and unusual. The meanings of their songs go deep.

Right now I should be carrying out the task of cleaning my room since I will be having guest over tonight. My room is awfully untidy . . . but it seems that I can not motivate myself to do something about it right now. Hmmmm . . . do not think of me as lazy (though I indeed can be) but I feel that the progress of my room will come in short time while I muster up the determination to make it sparkle . . . wow, I'm talking about cleaning my room. Oi!

Tomorrow's going to be mad rad dude, VANS WARPED TOUR 2009!!!!! Like music to my ears. So many good bands . . . so little time. Soakin up the sun and chillan with people similar to yourself . . . just taking in and enjoying the music. It is going to be an excellent day.

I am syked man.

Gotta go take care of that room now, oh boy!